and i cant believe im still crying while writing this post.
i just cant get over it, no i cant.

monday: parent - teacher principal meeting.

hell, i know whts ahead of me.
im so gona be out of this school.

broke down just now when michael told me some shyt.
fuck, wht the hell is this? as a fucking teacher, he should ENCOURAGE us if they want us to do well.
he shouldnt bloody DISCOURAGE US and go about smth lyk "although monday's hari raya eve alrdy, i think you all dunt need to celebrate alrdy. you have no career, why celebrate?"
THANKS AH THANKS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE CHEEBYE BASTARD LANJIAO.

i alrdy knew that there was NO MORE CAREER.
and NO MORE FUTURE.
so why the hell did you have to RUB IT IN OUR FACES?
scroo, you sonofabiatch.

and i walkd to gombak crying..
the more i thought, the more i cried.
then i finally realised that i should stop thinking so much.

when i reached home, before i could even go to my room to smash some things, dad called me to his studyroom. i thought he was gona be a nice asshole to talk to my nicely and shyt, but guess wht? he was just being his usual self- you mothuh fucking biatch.

and he continued saying shyt about me till i ended up crying again.
damn you fucking vegetarianic asshole.

I KNOW THERE'S ALRDY NO FUTURE.
SO YOU BLOODY WHORES OUT THERE NEED NOT RUB IT IN MY FACE.
THAT SENTENCE IS ALRDY WRITTEN IN MY HEAD.
I DUNT NEED A POSTIT FROM ANYONE TO REMIND ME.
THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

whts the point of everything?
i wish i could cut to cover the sadness with pain.
but there's no more space left.
lets just ...wait.
monday's the fucking day.
i wunt need tissues.
il be strong.
il stand up on my own.
so yes, i know there's no future alrdy.
lets just go jump down, all those who'd agree.
fuck this world.
lyk seriously whts the point of everything.
dad's so gona get me scrooed even more monday.
when is this shyt gona end?


and il still bleed; under the blade..
alone.